with your own penis?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
17 year olds will be the death of me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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