he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
