So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize