I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
