do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
