I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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