Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
