i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
