HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
