Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Randomize
