in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
