cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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