What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
