He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
