He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize