awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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