I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize