drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
