Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
