Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
