I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
