Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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