let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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