i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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