i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
