We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
