Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
