just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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