I wannas sexs uuuuu
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
