Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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