i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
