yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
