Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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