Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
