Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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