doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Randomize
