3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
