we have pet lesbian snakes
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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