then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
