Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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