i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
