Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
