My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
