If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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