I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize