:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
