hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
