After last night, I could never be a politician.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
