i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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