i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
