Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
