What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
