He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
