yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
