He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
