A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
