Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
