Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
