Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She's the barista slut.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
