she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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