do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
