so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
